The techno-toxic shayars - Part -3

Alright this one was supposed to be Part-2 but what the heck...read on for some more techno- shayris....remember the "Tower of hanoi?"...yeah keep moving.

This is probably the best thread out of the three...thanks to Sakshar to a large extent!

----Saurabh Singh
Geek Shayri of the Day.....
Unke pyar ko hum log(n) problem samajh ke machalte rahe...
Aur woh NP-Hard problem banke humein zindagi bhar chalte rahe....
----Bhavik Doshi
Wah wah chalo algorithm course ka kuch fyda to hua
----Sakshar Thakkar
Apne hi goal post me kyoon goal karta hai...
Gaur Farmaaiyega
Apne hi goal post me kyoon goal karta hai...
Tu kya recursion hai jo khud ko call karta hai?
----Saurabh Singh
Wah wah
Pavan sahab ki shayri hai dhyan dijiyega.....
Humne toh apni girlfriend ko private declare kiya tha.....
Par friend function bankar tune usko bhi access kar liya
Wah wah kabile taarif
----Sakshar Thakkar
Waah janaab...mukarrar...
----Devang Verma
sahi hai sahi hai kachuye....proud proud feeling aa rahi hai mujhe....
@Sakshar tooo good.......
----Sakshar Thakkar
geek-e-mehfil me ek aur sher pesh karna chaahunga....
Mere Dil ke Stumps Udaa dene vaali Brett Lee Hai Tu...
(Mujhe Gay Mat Samaz e FARAZ;
Mujhe Gay Mat Samaz e FARAZ,
yeh Figure of Speech hai. ) //This is inner class shaayri
Mere Dil ke Stumps Udaa dene vaali Brett Lee Hai Tu...
Jisse Main Uniquely Identifiable Hoon, woh Primary Key Hai Tu.
----Saurabh Singh
WAH WAH WAH WAH...Geek shayri ke Galib ho aap....Salaaam fek riya hun catch kar lena
----Devang Verma
WaH WaH WaH WaH(sine wave)
----Saurabh Singh
IS Geeky kadi mein do ladiyaan aur pesh karne ki ijazat chahta hun.....

Apne pyaar ko humne yun compile karke rakha hai....apne dil ko humne....yun compile karke rakha hai......har ladki ke dil mein jo run kar jaaye woh Java byte code bana ke rakha hai!
----Devang Verma
chi chi chi chi kya ganda wala mara bhaggu bhaggu........
----Saurabh Singh
Geek-e-mehfil ke organizer ke khilaaf ye gustakhi mehengi padegi janab...
----Sakshar Thakkar
@Bhaiya,
koi bhi do objects ko bina hashcode ke bhi match kar lenge;
aaj tu Salaam to kyaa Exception bhi fekega to catch kar lenge..
----Devang Verma
yeh tum logon ne kya naach gana laga rakha hai....abhi ELCTRONICS wale ki shayari suno......
Rocket tu meri.....mein tera fire.....
Rocket tu meri.....mein tera fire.....
Woofer tu meri........mein tera amplifier.........
:)
----Anupam Choudhari
Taaro ko pakadneki koshish ki, (Try-catch)
Apne Dil ko aapke taraf phenk diya, (Throw)
Aur toh aur aapko ek heera bhent diya, (Finally)
Jawaab nahi aaya toh nikat se jaancha, (Debug)
Aapke Exception se humne uttar jaan liya!
----Saurabh Singh
Wahhhhh wahhhhh dil jeet liya sakshar aur anupam bhai....as for devangs fake shayri
Arz kiya hai.....
Is mehfil mein har koi compiler tod shayri kar raha hai.....koi Java toh koi C++ kar raha hai....aur tu nikamma abtak baitha pseudo code likh raha hai
----Vishal Goradia
just the keep the ball rolling..

tune recursion ka naam lekar bezakova ki yaad dila di... aaj assignments ke bina bhi JAVA ne doston ki mehfil jama di..
----Sakshar Thakkar
Dushman na kare dost ne wo kaam kiya hai...
Geek-e-mehfil me Bezakova ka naam liya hai...
----Anupam Choudhari
Guitar mein humne C# bajaane ki koshish ki, Hume koi bataaye ki humne aisi kya galti kar di, Ki soorilay geeto ki dhun besoori nikal aayi!!
---Sakshar Thakkar
Java vaale naa baja sake C# aur C# vaale naa baja sake Java;
Guitar me language bajaao ge to besura hi paaoge na baawa!!!
----Amogh Badwe
wah wah....kya baat hai...
yaha thoda gaur farmaaiyega janaab.coming from db cluster student

java,c++,algos ki yeh dard bhari yaade puraani
magar sql queries banaye yeh shaam suhaani
----Sagar Kotak
is mehfil ko aise na rukao....chalo issi bahane ek aur shayri sunao...
hazaaron khwaish thi aisi ke har course kaminsky ke le....par har line main bug nikle....Bahut Nikle mere code mein bug, Magar phir bhi kam nikle....
----Sakshar Thakkar
mughtalakhe-momkin-e-chashm Kotak jaan ne bakhubi la-ilayat ghamkhe-parkhin farmaaya hain...
Kotak ki haazir-e-shaamiighil se roshan geek-e-mehfil ka har ek kona hai....
Kotak ki haazir-e-shaamiighil se roshan geek-e-mehfil ka har ek kona hai.......
(hazur kaminski ke class se bhi zyaada ghaur farmaaiyega agli kadi pe)
sone pe suhaage ka to suna hoga, kotak suhaage pe sona hai...
----Amogh Badwe
subhan allahh sakshar sahab.isi baat pe hum tumhe ek raat ke liye ek kaneez pesh karna chahenge.hume aasha hai aap yeh tohfa kabool kare.
---Sakshar Thakkar
maafi chaahta hun...
*haazir-e-shaamilghi...
----Vishal Goradia
tumne ki galti urdu main.. par humne maaf kar diya.. humne ki galti syntax main.. par sarkar ne C de diya.. :P
----Saurabh Singh
WAH WAH WAH Goradia....Kotak...Sakhshar...Amogh.....Geek-e-Mehfil ke is shaam mein aap logon ne jo madmast nagme pesh kiye wah wah....Kotak saab ne toh aaj hamein shayri suna ke hamare bug bug...err mera matlab rag rag mein josh jaga diya
----Saurabh Singh
C++ main likhta hun Java na samajhna....
Pass by reference kiya hai value na samajhna.....
----Anupam Choudhari
Wah Thakkar-e-alam, maan gaye! Ab Ek Jaam editors ke naam - -
Pico me khola toh emacs ne pukaara, VIM ke modes nahi toh mere chords se bhi paa chutkaara!
----Sakshar Thakkar
teri aankho ki gehraayion kaa yeh kaisa vyasan ho gaya;
teri aankhi ki gehraayion kaa yeh kaisa vyasan ho gaya;
Recursion karne ka tha Traversion ho gaya.
----Sagar Kotak
geek-e-mehfil main ek aur shayri...aur ye hum sab RIT ke coders ke liye...
Saari umar hum
Kaminsky ke Coding kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do...
Jeene do
Saari umar hum
Bezakova ke Errors fix kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do
Saari umar hum
Hemaspandra ke Nightouts kar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do
Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

The techno-toxic shayars - Part -2

Alright, i was really pleased with the results of my little experiment and wanted to do this one more time.....so again just to spark the fire i posted some more drivel....read on!

Now this is where all the techno action began....just so you don't abuse me later some of the stuff below is highly ITish (NAW) so if you think the 'Tower of Hanoi' is a tower in hanoi then please move on....

----Saurabh Singh
Arz kiya hai FARAZ( Irshad chahunga Sakshar Thakkar, Devang Verma, Anand
Kulkarni, Manan Doshi, Anupam Choudhari, Amogh Badwe)
Hamein chod kar chala gaya hamara woh Humsafar....
Uski yaadon se ho gaya overflow hamara Memory Buffer....
----Pankaj Soni
wha wha bhaiya wha... (I did not weed this comment out because Pankazzz
is a technically challenged MBA and yet seems to get the joke!)
----Sakshar Thakkar
Irshaad kubul kijiega...
wohh lamhe, woh yaade, hum kabhi nahi bhulaa paate;
memory ke buffer se guzar jaate hain jo makaam wo phir nahi aate.
Woh phir nahi aate.
----Anupam Choudhari
Arz kiya hai...
Aapko bhoolne mein is dil ne kitne zulm sahey,
Aapko bhoolne mein iss dil ne itne zulm sahey,
Zaalim usmein Backdoor banana bhool gaye!!
----Sakshar Thakkar
lagi aaj saavan ki fir woh zadi thi;
hamaare liye wo khaufnaakh ghadi thi;
hum ne socha tumhe bhulaa diya humne
par mitaai hui woh yaaden recycle bin me padi thi.
----Saurabh Singh
Humnein teri yaadon ko dil ke raid backup mein rakh liya......
zaalim tune dil tod ke mera mujhe zindagi se shift+delete kar diya.....
----Devang Verma
dil tod ke mera mujhe zindagi se shift+delete kar diya........
dil tod ke mera mujhe zindagi se shift+delete kar diya........
agar hang hua toh end task using ctl+alt+delete kar diya......
----Urvi Tanna
HA.. i hav a better one
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
A for Apple B for Banana…
----Saurabh Singh
Lahaulvilakuvat Mohtarma.....original shayriyon ke beech aapka ye copy
paste raas nai aaya....jaao kuch original leke aao
----Anupam Choudhari
Tasveeron ko private bananeki kadvi chaal kheli aapne,
Meethe Cookies ne waapas dilaye woh khoye sapne!
Un sapnon ke saayein mein aaj marte hai hum,
Clear Private Data karte toh, dard hota tha kum!
----Sakshar Thakkar
Hamaare Rasm-O-Rivaaz thode Judaa hai;
Hamaare Rasm-O-Rivaaz thode Judaa hai;
C hamaara Ishwar aur java khuda hai.
----Sakshar Thakkar
24 ke fan log...zara Ghaur farmaaiyega ...

Jab tumhaari yaadon ko memory se mitaane Garbage Collector aayega;
Jab tumhaari yaadon ko memory se mitaane Garbage Collector aayega;
Tum to kyaa Jack Bauer bhi use rok nahi paayega....
----Saurabh Singh
Hahahahaha.....main in sab shayriyon ka ek blog banane waala hun
----Urvi Tanna
thik hia...aap itni guzarish kar rahe ho toh hum kuch original pesh karte hai.. (NOTE: this is not a dedication..zyada khush mat hona)
tu cheez badi hai mast mast..
tu cheez badi hai mast mast..
jaise spicy cheese pizza with cheese burst crust...

------------------------(some parts hereon were hijacked by lou bards)------
----Manan Doshi
nahi hota overflow memory buffer dost ke chale jaanese ....

nahi hota overflow memory buffer dost ke chale jaanese .........

yeh to hota hai tujse mote dost(saubs) ko pointer ke aage lagane se....
----Saurabh Singh
@Urvi thanks thanks....

@manan
Maashuk ne jo kardi hamari taarif....
Aaya tumhare dil mein terror......
Crash karke program mera....
Feka dune 'Access Denied' ka error!!
----Urvi Tanna
hehehehe.... *sweet* !!!!
----Anupam Choudhari
Python jaise pavitra ratna Perl ko zehereela banata hai, Waise C pe agar shaap lag jaaye toh hum OOPs bolte hai!!
----Urvi Tanna
tere dil ne kiya mujhe ping ... tere dil ne kiya mujhe ping...britannia biscuit tin tin ti ding :P :P
----Manan Doshi
try kiya tune saubs to humne throw kiya exception..........

try kiya tune saubs to humne throw kiya exception..........

catch kiya tune to finally mila rejection.........wahwah
----Saurabh Singh
ganda ganda chee...aaj JD nai maara kya
----Manan Doshi
@urvi
mere dil ne kya kiya ping too aap krne lage sing........

mere dil ne kya kiya ping too aap krne lage sing........
hum bhi krne lage sing to aap ne keh diya tin tin ti..ding
----Devang Verma
Manan ki koshish jaari hai ek toh achchi marega shayari.....try manan try........
----Devang Verma
try again manan.......
----Saurabh Singh
Kasam se.... Haggruuu
April 9 at 3:42pm via Email Reply ·
----Devang Verma
@Bhaiyya hahahhaha tere code ko dynamic banane ke liye PHP dalu kya?
----Anupam Choudhari
LOL... Ek Number
----Manan Doshi
jeetne wale try nahi karte...
----Devang Verma
@Manan jeetne wale kabhi try nahi karte.........
aur harke jitane wale ko Bazigar kehate hai.........
----Manan Doshi
wah wah...peti lao...sir stage ready hai..saaaaaaaaaaaaaa adab arz hai....(5 ccents to nana)
----Devang Verma
chi chi chi...... Nana ke dialogue ka rate abhi tak 5 cent hi hai kya........
Mere dialogue ka rate dekho aasman chu raha hai 25cent babuji 25cent......Abhi woh din door nahi jab mein Bhaiyya ki company kharid lunga aur mere dialogues open source nahi rahenge......hihihi
----Saurabh Singh
Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha.....aaasmaan wahwah.....tere dialogue ko poori open source shayar community enhance kar rahi hai obviously rate badhega
----Devang Verma
@manan hahahhaha woh toh thik hai manan par mere dialogues ka sawal hai....aise open source achche nahi lagte aisa lagta hai ghar ki sushil bahu miami ke beach par bikini mein 8 logo ke saath ghum rahi hai.............
----Saurabh Singh
ooooooohhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahaha....maine keyboard pe coffee thuk di hahahahahahaha
----Manan Doshi
hahahahaha lol cannot stop laughing
----Saurabh Singh
really.....office mein 3-4 log dekhke gaye ye chu kaiko has raha hai lol...
----Anand Kulkarni
peeetttiiii laoooooooooooooooo ! tabalji ; "thok thol ; ready sir".... SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... AADAB ARZ HAI !!!!
----Anand Kulkarni
suhil bahu on miami beach !!! this qualifies to the competition of dialogue of the season finalists...
----Saurabh Singh
Absolutely....this is in the same league as 'Doodh l*** pe latka hai" amazing
----Anand Kulkarni
sawall..this dialogue has been entered in the notepad by veto power.. i didnt have to ask the senate members.. cos i know the result !its going to be 100 % YES !
Manan Doshi
seems like new name for savita
bhabhi
----Devang Verma
@manan clear kar name kya hai "sorry man" ke "sushil bahu"?
----Saurabh Singh
Par Savita sushil nai ha ba.....asusheel hai
----Devang Verma
@bhaiyya asusheel hona toh andar ki baat hai aise publicly nahi bolane ka.......
----Saurabh Singh
Sirf doodh waale,paper waale, cable waale, ice cream waale etc waalon ko pata hai
----Devang Verma
Devang Verma
hahhahahahhah hohohohhoho
aankhon mein se aansu aa gaye bhaiyye......hahahhaha
----Amogh Badwe
saala poora din facebook nahi check kiya,abhi dekha 63 notifications.bahut naach gaana hua saala.
notepad update karna padega aaj is session ke baad
----Ankit Joshi
@saubs, yaar tum log bhul jaate ho ki tum log yeh doodh waali baat sabko bata chuke ho........
----Devang Verma
@amogh Wah Tins wah..... Dil khush kar diya.......63 notifications....... Sahi hai.....



And that's when people ran out of juice....some of them here are EPIC some lame....but was a truly fun day!

The techno-toxic shayars - Part -1

I've been procrastinating on this too long, I've been wanting to compile the often EPIC shayris on facebook by me (ahem yeah i do rate myself highly) and my other tech drunk shayars....presenting here the first part...probably where it all began....not true to the heading though since this one isn't really very techish(NAW - Not A Word)

I was essentially a bit restless before lunch time at work and decided to let some of my creativity out......


----Saurabh Singh10 minutes to lunch Shayri...gor kijiyega Sakshar Thakkar saab...
Uski yaad mein faraz main soya nahi saari raat...
Subah woh milke muskuraye toh hum le aaye baraat...
Par usne samajh ke izzat ko khairat...
Maar di hamari hamari g*** pe laat
----Sakshar Thakkar
waah waah waah waah...mukarrar...
ab aap gaur farmaaiyega...
Aisi laaton se khafa naa ho FARAZ;
ke Laat gai to Raat gai aur Raat gai to Baat gai...
----Abhishta Kamath
bhaiya ke sawaal ka jawaab :
guzri hui raat pe mat karna gaur .....
unse kehna 'ufff .. yahi ada kheeche mujhe teri ore'
aadab !
----Bhavik Gandhi
Gosh you guys are awesome. Are those Original?
----Saurabh Singh
Mat pooch FARAZ ki ye shayri original hai ya Fake...
Just enjoy the joke for gods sake!
----Amogh Badwe
yaha bhi thoda gaur farmayiye janaab...aadaab...
garaj garaj kar barse woh shabd,jaise saawan jhoome
jisko yeh pasand na aaye faraz,aake meri g*** choome


That was pretty good I thought, we all seemed to have the knack for some awesome bull. Little did i know about the things to come!...read the next post for details :)

P.S. I have edited the thread to weed out the wah wah's :D

A random day lost in time........part 2

Sequels generally flop pretty bad....i hope this one doesn't...

I was sitting in class bobbing my head like a jackass trying to portray as if I understood every word the professor said while my hands were busy (ahem) printing out an assignment which was due in an hour. The professor suddenly switched to the question answer session, “what is round robin scheduling?" he asked. “Yes you”…he was pointing to my friend sitting next to me busy doing the same thing I was but was a little less smart while doing that. Anna my friend stood up and assumed the form of a saint. “Scheduling …..blah blah blah….actually sir …..white house….’Batla’….mulund…(random crap)” (All along with an incredible constipated expression on his face). The class was trying hard not to laugh while the professor was frantically trying to make sense of what Anna just said, not convinced he moved his eyes on me and I asked “Question professor?”, the professor did not bother to answer my Question with his question, next up was lulla. He got up and as expected did not know the answer but was still allowed to sit down, because his hand was in a cast or because the professor had feelings for him is not known yet.

**Anna - Mulund Yellow Pages. He probably carried the phone number for every "Mulund ka aadmi" in his cell phone. He has this habit of inviting everyone he met from Mulund to his house..."Are tu mulund mein rehta hai? Mere ghar pe aa milne" was his sincere request everytime. There was one instance where I told me I had to pee real bad and he said “Mera uncle baaju mein rehta hai uske idhar muut ke aa sakta hai”.

**Lulla - Vishesh - The Broken Bone Boy is an eternal lulla because he has this peculiar habit of getting his bones fractured regularly. He is also anti-engineering because he never took any extra coaching throughout his glorious years in Somaiya but yet cleared everything without KT’s, his achievements also include certifying files for hopeless cases with such precise signatures that made the real one’s look fake.

The Mexican wave of people being asked questions and made to sit on answering was furiously moving along the classroom when suddenly the wave was disturbed, standing on the door showcasing 30 of his 32 pearlies was “Sankhe”

**Sankhe cannot be described, you have to experience this legend. Amongst his many legendary stories is one which I experienced firsthand. I met Sankhe in college when he was about to write one of his KT exams for the third time, on being asked whether he would ever clear it he convinced us he was progressing when he said “First attempt mein main 5 min baitha, second mein 10 min…progress kar raha hun”. It was then that he realized that he had forgotten his hall ticket, he made his brother come down from Mulund to deliver his hall ticket….what made my day was what Sankhe told his brother when he arrived “15 minute ruk dono saath mein nikalte” (And he kept his promise).
Sankhe was standing in the door wanting to come in, on being asked why he was late….Sankhe was sentimental “Meri daadi bimar hai sir” (This was a new because it was usually “Bhai ka fees”). He was allowed to come in and was the reason for the question answer session ending. Nothing much exciting happened after that except the professor muttering “What is your ‘poblem’?” a couple times to people seemingly more disturbed than the other students.

The lukkhas were free for 10 mins till the next 2 hour ordeal began. It was time for Bhavesh ka badbad, Shinde ko bumps, lulle ka shanpatti, Ranka ka ganda dekho, Rama ka rona, Pappi ki lalkaar, Sai ka padna bimar,Vinod ka chamdigiri , Anna ka ragpatti, Owlekar ka guitar, “Bhaiya ka ghaati jokes”. Well just to set the record straight our “Group” I’m sure was the creator of PJ’s in the world, no really we were BADASS pakau, to the point of sounding alien to people around us but I carved a niche for myself with my ‘khudki maaro’ jokes. I’ve never had a day in college when I was not told “bhaiya tu ghar ja”…and in a strange twisted way I am proud of that…..ask my current friends and I haven’t really changed much (fortunately or unfortunately is for you to decide).

**Owlekar - was the guitarist of the group who just like Nimit was often blank during conversations and so was referred to as "Blanko". We've had many a memorable singing sessions thanks to him.

**Vinod – He was the ultimate chamdi, he had the nastiest observations for people, you argued with him at your own peril. He was also the partner during out group studies during the last few semesters and probably the only reason I cleared my engineering with “Sar utha ke jeeyo” grades.

The lectures ended and I left with my usual hang out mates Vinod and Anna to have some Maggi Bonda, lecher at some ladies and generally waste time….followed by ofcourse FOOTBALL!

A random day lost in time....

I started writing this blog with plenty on my mind but soon found memory fading and yet i ended up with a leeeenthy blog. It should make most sense to my engineering friends but i guess it'll be a fun read for anyone who was ever part of a close knit group during their college days

This morning I was chatting with a good friend of mine and like it is often the case, we drifted down memory lane about how much fun college was and how life will never ever be so much fun. Better maybe but never as much fun. Probably because never again in life will ‘Bas KT nai lagna mangta, chalees mila toh party’ be the only responsible(?) statement during your conversation. Never again in life will you look forward to meeting the same old bunch of more or less equally irresponsible human beings every day. Never again will "making animal noises from the last bench while the professor is trying to ‘teach’ you" be the accepted form of entertainment. Never again will you be making choices about which lecture is bearable enough to be graced with your presence. “Saala pacchees page ka assignment chapne ka hai” will never again be the biggest hurdle of the week for you. There will be no canteen ki chhool and never ever will you be bunking your lectures to play football with your mates.

Alright much has been written on this topic, every sucker that passes out of college has ranted about why college was so much better. But yet I wanted to write this because I genuinely believe i could add something new to this overused topic, that and I know how nostalgic second rate blogs still manage to get more views than top notch literary masterpieces on obscure topics. So having cleared my intentions I’ll try to paint a picture of how a typical day in my life during engineering looked.

The day is around the end of the semester with a last few days of lectures, when it was hard to find a table or sometimes even a classroom empty to finish those ‘assignments’ you forgot to download from a friends assignment, when finding a professor who would certify your file be like finding Kryptonite and when you most regretted bunking a lecture which everybody else attended, not because you missed the ‘gyan’ by the professor but because that was the day everybody was busy writing the ‘extra’ assignment some professor fantasized during his sleep.

LOCATION – CITY(?) Kalyan, District – Thane, Maharashtra.

TIME : Early morning (11:30).

I am essentially carrying 5 files supposed to be stuffed with 6 months of knowledge I garnered during the semester. I’m making a dash for the 11:30 slow local for Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus for no apparent reason because I know I won’t be attending the lecture anyways. I make it just on time and enter the “phars clas comparmant” where I meet my fellow crusader Rajesh.

** Rajesh a.k.a rajjo, kanya is the the other Kalyan ka ghati who’s been my mate since school, junior college and now engineering.

Me: “Rajjo harami ticket counter pe milne bola tha, train mein nai”

Rajjo : “Bhaiye main 10 min khada tha udhar nai aaya toh train mein chad gaya”

Me: “Who chod, mera DSP ka third assignment kidhar hai kutte, ek mahine pehle diya tha”

Rajjo : “Ghanta main pandu se chaapa who, mere paas nai hai”

Me : “Sanap saala chori kiya rahega, saala nai mila toh 10 page wapas taapna padega”

Rajjo : “Kitna file sign hua?”

Me: “3 complete hai sign ek bhi nai hua, Surve ganda nakhra kar rahi hai sign karne”

Rajjo : “Ranka saale ka ek hi baaki hai”

Me: “Who chatu saala sab complete kar liya rahega”

We then move on to other important topics of conversation like why the Director is /insert maa bhen ki gaali/ for making attendance compulsory.

We’re now approaching Ghatkopar and it’s time to start wrestling so we can get down at the much loved “Vidyavihar” station and the usual question answer session…

ME: “Vidyavihar utrega kya?”

Some weird looking uncle : “Kurla”

Me: “Toh peeche aao na Kurla ko time hai”.

We get down, check to make sure the valuable files are safe and begin with the daily ritual of “Junior college ka item (?) log ko taapneka” which we refer to by “Ganda dekho”.

We decide to walk to college today because I’ve run out of “Both side ruled” sheets, next stop “Nirmal book Depot”. After arming ourselves with the goods we march towards the sprawling Somaiya campus. We come across the usual bunch of Junior college students busy with **Commercegiri.

**Commercegiri is a concept of looking incredibly relaxed because you know you are doing commerce so will only end up working in a call center. This particular breed of young talented students is usually seen with unusually huge backpacks, outdated mobile phones with ringtones being played for no useful purpose.

We enter KJSCOE, head to the canteen gulp a vada pav and make our way to the classroom through the elevator with a staff menacingly staring at us because the elevator has a warning which says “Only for Staff”.

We’re greeted by Nimit and Bhavesh.

**Nimit - Blank of Baroda for his habit of drawing blank during conversations for no good reason, has an infectious laughter and the typical gujju way of brightening up any gloomy moment.

**Bhavesh a.k.a Bon Bon is the non-stop chatterbox gujju who was much hated in his early days because he was the “Diploma ka shaana”. Later however he was more or less always the planner of outings and ghaatigiris outside college and the one who you knew would be prepared during the Vivas ;)

Nimit : “Aa gaye Kalyan ke ghaati log”

Rajjo : “Aaaa Nimiteshhhh”

Nimit : “Ghati log kitna file khatam hua”

Rajjo ignores him,turns away and starts walking towards spiky.

** Spiky : Is known for his simple yet effective humor with legendary answers like “Round Robin scheduling is scheduling that takes place in a round robin fashion”, a Maharahtrian with no traces of Maharastrianism in him, rumor is he can barely speak and understand Marathi.

Spiky is busy devouring sheets after sheets of paper with the most optimum compression algorithm known to mankind. He can compress a 10 page assignment into 2 pages without arousing any suspicion from the professors.

Rajjo : “Spiky saale mera assignment likh ke de na”

Spiky : “Hata saala merko poora DSP ka file khatam karne ka hai”

Enter Ranka with a smug smile which says he has just finished with his hard labor for the semester.

**Ranka : Is a Jain with a tenacious personality, is the worst kind of teachers pet but the kind of pet who’ll pee on the master in the face without the slightest remorse.

Ranka : “Rajooooo kal united thoka Chelsea ko”

Rajjo shows no reaction, he waits for backup from his other Chel$ki mates. Ranka is interrupted by spiky who has safely chosen to support Real Madrid because almost no one cares who lives or dies in the Spanish league.

Spiky : “Saala tum manu ka log ek match jeta toh itna uchalta hai”

Ranka (With his earth shattering laughter) : “Madrid ghaati kal 2-0 haara hahahahhaa”

Spiky (Tries to come up with a retort but can only say) : “Hata saala”

Enter Rama : Rama is the ultimate pessimist, the kind you would not want your shadow wandering around before exams. He can manage to sulk during the happiest of moments for the tiniest problems.

Rama : “Kya yaar kitna file complete karneka, Dhummal saala ghar chala gaya”

Rajjo : “Rama sai kidhar hai”

Rama : “Who saala kal football ke baad mineral water peeya aur bimar pad gaya”

Everybody is now busy discussing Sai and why he is so fragile when suddenly we notice Shinde.

** Shinde our favorite punching bag. Is a lanky Marathi Mannos again who lives in ‘Town’.

Someone suddenly felt the need to give him birthday bums and everybody around obliged, Shinde was then carried like a sack outside the class and flung in the air like a ragdoll by everybody around, including some ‘infra’ ka seniors.

**Sai – The most audacious Chel$ki fan who is known to fall sick even if a fly kicked him in the face.

Enter Phaphe and Pandya

**Phaphe – He is the Marathi manoos of the group a.k.a Maahim mein chaddi pehen ke ghumne waala, but is now popular as Ashfaq miyan for well err…nevermind. He is also the tallest in the group and at times is known to turn horny looking at Rajjo.

**Pandya a.k.a Salesman has never been spotted in college with more than a register and a pen in his hand, he still mysteriously completes his assignment, but has never yet been seen with a file.

Phaphe and Pandya are currently enjoying free unlimited calling on their BPL network, why they chose to add each other on that plan is a matter of contention but the bigger concern is these days they talk to each other on the phone even while sitting next to each other.

Phaphe : “Saala Viva chalu hone waala hai merko ganda ratne chalu karne ka hai”

Rajjo : “Tu crash course lagane wala hai kya?”

Phaphe : “Sab subject ka laga liya, sab ganda ratne ka hai”

I was meanwhile looking around for a professor who would give me the much coveted final submission signature on one of my files little did I know that I wasn’t getting anything else done on that day. Because someone from the other class was free enough to play football.

Nimit spotted him and there was only thing possible from there on…..a football match between IT A and IT B.

Gaah, too long but I still tried to keep it short also deleted some other characters, to be introduced in the next blog probably.

Difference between a Friend and a Gaali friend

First blog...well first because the others were lame(Hoping against hope this one is not)

So I've had tonnes of friends in my life, i've valued all of them. I haven't always bothered to tell them that but if they did not understand that themselves they weren't really my Gaali friends, yes you read that right....a GALI friend. This is a special category of friends i made, during school, Engineering and my MS. Now that i've introduced you to this tacky sounding term it is imperetive that i explain what i mean by that, so here goes.........

Q: Give scientific differences between a Friend and a gaali friend

A: 1. When you call friends you say hello, when you call the gaali friends you use the foulest word that comes to your mind (Kaisa hai "Insert favourite abuse here")
2. A friend will console you when you're fucked, gaali friend will laugh his ass off because you were stupid (leather seats to my MS "friends"?)
3. A friend will chat with you and call you regularly, a gaali freind will meet you after years but it'll still feel like you met him the day before. (You even do things you did when you met regularly.....i still talk about making life miserable for my engg. teachers when i meet one of my gaali freinds from that age, i still eat at the chinese tapri when i meet my friend from Junior college....i still wanna play CS all night when i meet my MS friends)
4. A friend will know you but when you 'KNOW' someone he is a gaali friend( I know which friend to get drunk when i need maximum entertainment...yes you HellzAngel)
5. A friend will wish you on your birthday, a gaali friend will meet you weeks after your birthday and tell you "Harami mera party kidhar hai?"
6. When you fight with a freind you have to make up....when you fight a gaali friend you will sit over a drink like nothing happened...no one apologises...end of)

I believe this should get me full marks for this question....but i'm sure i'll add some more points to this list.....so to all my Gaali friends who are by now laughing while using some really colourful words....cheers to you!