A random day lost in time....

I started writing this blog with plenty on my mind but soon found memory fading and yet i ended up with a leeeenthy blog. It should make most sense to my engineering friends but i guess it'll be a fun read for anyone who was ever part of a close knit group during their college days

This morning I was chatting with a good friend of mine and like it is often the case, we drifted down memory lane about how much fun college was and how life will never ever be so much fun. Better maybe but never as much fun. Probably because never again in life will ‘Bas KT nai lagna mangta, chalees mila toh party’ be the only responsible(?) statement during your conversation. Never again in life will you look forward to meeting the same old bunch of more or less equally irresponsible human beings every day. Never again will "making animal noises from the last bench while the professor is trying to ‘teach’ you" be the accepted form of entertainment. Never again will you be making choices about which lecture is bearable enough to be graced with your presence. “Saala pacchees page ka assignment chapne ka hai” will never again be the biggest hurdle of the week for you. There will be no canteen ki chhool and never ever will you be bunking your lectures to play football with your mates.

Alright much has been written on this topic, every sucker that passes out of college has ranted about why college was so much better. But yet I wanted to write this because I genuinely believe i could add something new to this overused topic, that and I know how nostalgic second rate blogs still manage to get more views than top notch literary masterpieces on obscure topics. So having cleared my intentions I’ll try to paint a picture of how a typical day in my life during engineering looked.

The day is around the end of the semester with a last few days of lectures, when it was hard to find a table or sometimes even a classroom empty to finish those ‘assignments’ you forgot to download from a friends assignment, when finding a professor who would certify your file be like finding Kryptonite and when you most regretted bunking a lecture which everybody else attended, not because you missed the ‘gyan’ by the professor but because that was the day everybody was busy writing the ‘extra’ assignment some professor fantasized during his sleep.

LOCATION – CITY(?) Kalyan, District – Thane, Maharashtra.

TIME : Early morning (11:30).

I am essentially carrying 5 files supposed to be stuffed with 6 months of knowledge I garnered during the semester. I’m making a dash for the 11:30 slow local for Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus for no apparent reason because I know I won’t be attending the lecture anyways. I make it just on time and enter the “phars clas comparmant” where I meet my fellow crusader Rajesh.

** Rajesh a.k.a rajjo, kanya is the the other Kalyan ka ghati who’s been my mate since school, junior college and now engineering.

Me: “Rajjo harami ticket counter pe milne bola tha, train mein nai”

Rajjo : “Bhaiye main 10 min khada tha udhar nai aaya toh train mein chad gaya”

Me: “Who chod, mera DSP ka third assignment kidhar hai kutte, ek mahine pehle diya tha”

Rajjo : “Ghanta main pandu se chaapa who, mere paas nai hai”

Me : “Sanap saala chori kiya rahega, saala nai mila toh 10 page wapas taapna padega”

Rajjo : “Kitna file sign hua?”

Me: “3 complete hai sign ek bhi nai hua, Surve ganda nakhra kar rahi hai sign karne”

Rajjo : “Ranka saale ka ek hi baaki hai”

Me: “Who chatu saala sab complete kar liya rahega”

We then move on to other important topics of conversation like why the Director is /insert maa bhen ki gaali/ for making attendance compulsory.

We’re now approaching Ghatkopar and it’s time to start wrestling so we can get down at the much loved “Vidyavihar” station and the usual question answer session…

ME: “Vidyavihar utrega kya?”

Some weird looking uncle : “Kurla”

Me: “Toh peeche aao na Kurla ko time hai”.

We get down, check to make sure the valuable files are safe and begin with the daily ritual of “Junior college ka item (?) log ko taapneka” which we refer to by “Ganda dekho”.

We decide to walk to college today because I’ve run out of “Both side ruled” sheets, next stop “Nirmal book Depot”. After arming ourselves with the goods we march towards the sprawling Somaiya campus. We come across the usual bunch of Junior college students busy with **Commercegiri.

**Commercegiri is a concept of looking incredibly relaxed because you know you are doing commerce so will only end up working in a call center. This particular breed of young talented students is usually seen with unusually huge backpacks, outdated mobile phones with ringtones being played for no useful purpose.

We enter KJSCOE, head to the canteen gulp a vada pav and make our way to the classroom through the elevator with a staff menacingly staring at us because the elevator has a warning which says “Only for Staff”.

We’re greeted by Nimit and Bhavesh.

**Nimit - Blank of Baroda for his habit of drawing blank during conversations for no good reason, has an infectious laughter and the typical gujju way of brightening up any gloomy moment.

**Bhavesh a.k.a Bon Bon is the non-stop chatterbox gujju who was much hated in his early days because he was the “Diploma ka shaana”. Later however he was more or less always the planner of outings and ghaatigiris outside college and the one who you knew would be prepared during the Vivas ;)

Nimit : “Aa gaye Kalyan ke ghaati log”

Rajjo : “Aaaa Nimiteshhhh”

Nimit : “Ghati log kitna file khatam hua”

Rajjo ignores him,turns away and starts walking towards spiky.

** Spiky : Is known for his simple yet effective humor with legendary answers like “Round Robin scheduling is scheduling that takes place in a round robin fashion”, a Maharahtrian with no traces of Maharastrianism in him, rumor is he can barely speak and understand Marathi.

Spiky is busy devouring sheets after sheets of paper with the most optimum compression algorithm known to mankind. He can compress a 10 page assignment into 2 pages without arousing any suspicion from the professors.

Rajjo : “Spiky saale mera assignment likh ke de na”

Spiky : “Hata saala merko poora DSP ka file khatam karne ka hai”

Enter Ranka with a smug smile which says he has just finished with his hard labor for the semester.

**Ranka : Is a Jain with a tenacious personality, is the worst kind of teachers pet but the kind of pet who’ll pee on the master in the face without the slightest remorse.

Ranka : “Rajooooo kal united thoka Chelsea ko”

Rajjo shows no reaction, he waits for backup from his other Chel$ki mates. Ranka is interrupted by spiky who has safely chosen to support Real Madrid because almost no one cares who lives or dies in the Spanish league.

Spiky : “Saala tum manu ka log ek match jeta toh itna uchalta hai”

Ranka (With his earth shattering laughter) : “Madrid ghaati kal 2-0 haara hahahahhaa”

Spiky (Tries to come up with a retort but can only say) : “Hata saala”

Enter Rama : Rama is the ultimate pessimist, the kind you would not want your shadow wandering around before exams. He can manage to sulk during the happiest of moments for the tiniest problems.

Rama : “Kya yaar kitna file complete karneka, Dhummal saala ghar chala gaya”

Rajjo : “Rama sai kidhar hai”

Rama : “Who saala kal football ke baad mineral water peeya aur bimar pad gaya”

Everybody is now busy discussing Sai and why he is so fragile when suddenly we notice Shinde.

** Shinde our favorite punching bag. Is a lanky Marathi Mannos again who lives in ‘Town’.

Someone suddenly felt the need to give him birthday bums and everybody around obliged, Shinde was then carried like a sack outside the class and flung in the air like a ragdoll by everybody around, including some ‘infra’ ka seniors.

**Sai – The most audacious Chel$ki fan who is known to fall sick even if a fly kicked him in the face.

Enter Phaphe and Pandya

**Phaphe – He is the Marathi manoos of the group a.k.a Maahim mein chaddi pehen ke ghumne waala, but is now popular as Ashfaq miyan for well err…nevermind. He is also the tallest in the group and at times is known to turn horny looking at Rajjo.

**Pandya a.k.a Salesman has never been spotted in college with more than a register and a pen in his hand, he still mysteriously completes his assignment, but has never yet been seen with a file.

Phaphe and Pandya are currently enjoying free unlimited calling on their BPL network, why they chose to add each other on that plan is a matter of contention but the bigger concern is these days they talk to each other on the phone even while sitting next to each other.

Phaphe : “Saala Viva chalu hone waala hai merko ganda ratne chalu karne ka hai”

Rajjo : “Tu crash course lagane wala hai kya?”

Phaphe : “Sab subject ka laga liya, sab ganda ratne ka hai”

I was meanwhile looking around for a professor who would give me the much coveted final submission signature on one of my files little did I know that I wasn’t getting anything else done on that day. Because someone from the other class was free enough to play football.

Nimit spotted him and there was only thing possible from there on…..a football match between IT A and IT B.

Gaah, too long but I still tried to keep it short also deleted some other characters, to be introduced in the next blog probably.